How do you pray? Where do you pray? With whom do you pray? For whom/what do you pray? Do you journal about your prayer life? I never thought those were important questions until I really started examining my prayer life.
I’m sure that many of you were taught as children to pray in a similar way as I was taught. Bless my food at mealtime looked like…bow my head, sit still, say thank you to God and ask the food be blessed to be nourishing for my body so that I can do God’s will. Say Amen. Eat. Hey, wait, His will! What is His will (stomach growls)? At bedtime, get on my knees and say the “now I lay me down” prayer. I don’t know about you but I grew up being terrified that God would forget me because of that very prayer. I thought if I forgot to say that prayer and ask Him to keep my soul that there was a very big possibility that he would forget to keep me or He’d be mad that I didn’t love Him enough to remember to say my prayers. Maybe someone should have explained that prayer was me talking to God, not leave me to think not obeying some ritualistic rule that if broken could lead to punishment. After all, who can say how a child interprets things such as this?
As an older child, I was allowed into “big church”, (also know as preaching services). Then I started hearing all these requests for help. And these people weren’t praying but making it known to all that they NEEDED everyone to join them in asking God for these things. Talk about me trying to understand this! I set myself up to fail instantly! Even though I wrote their names and requests down, I’d lose the list or I’d forget about the list stuck in my Bible until the next service (this still happens with me). So, very early on in my life, I considered myself a failure at being a good Christian. And not to mention that you are supposed to have a prayer closet. What? Where do I get that? Stand in the gap? Where’s that? LOL…I was and still am a very literal person.
Trust, for me, was already so fragile. Trust, now that is a subject that I could talk about and chase rabbits on for hours. And because of that, I will stop with that a child’s prayer planted the seed of distrust for me at a very, very young age.
My prayer life today…well it is simple, my prayer is basically one, long, continuous conversation with my Heavenly Father. It looks different from day to day, season to season. Most days when my eyes open I say “Thank you, God!” and then our conversations for the day begins. When I have time and wake up when I am supposed to, I like to do a devotional before I get out of bed. But some days our conversation starts back up while I am in the shower. What? Shae, you talk to God while you are naked and shaving…YUP! He knows my body better than I do (He made me) and I am not ashamed to talk to him in the shower. Some of my most heartfelt prayers have happened in the mornings during my morning routine. Some prayer starts out on my knees, kneeling, taking something so dear to my heart to God and I end up flat on my face, sobbing so hard I can no longer speak. But that’s ok when this happens because the Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf and speaks what I cannot. The Armor of God usually gets put on during my morning commute, with praise music blaring or while listening to a sermon. If I am feeling especially vulnerable to spiritual warfare, I like to put the armor on while I stand in front of a mirror (just helps me visualize it better). I talk to God all the time, eyes open and all. Know what? I fall asleep most nights praying and I never get to say “in Christ’s name”. I forget people I am supposed to pray for, that I have told I will pray for them. I tell God, “ok, you know who all I intended to pray for so I ask your will be done and blessings in their lives’. Shame on me? NO! When my boys were little I loved when they fell asleep talking to me and I didn’t abandon them or think they were bad sons when forgetfulness would occur.
May 2015, I rededicated my life to God. I asked him to make me a prayer warrior. Prayer is something that has always been important in my life. I wanted to do it right. I wanted to be great at it. For a while trying to get it so right… I got it so wrong! Then I stopped with all the “proper prayer” (you know, where you speak eloquently and call up verses and blah blah). I started begging, crying (ugly cries) to where I couldn’t speak but I stayed there with God. I have even yelled at God and told him how hurt I was, how angry I was, how confusing this world is and that He was not being any help. Let me ask you if your child yelled at you, would they stop being your child?
I have stopped trying to be a perfect formal Christian soldier. Instead, Jesus is my best friend, my Brother and God is my teddy bear of a Father and the Holy Spirit is like a nurturing Mother. I am not perfect at trusting God, not even close. I have yet to completely relinquish the steering wheel. But that is something I am earnestly praying about these days.
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
19 Do not quench the Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 (NIV)
The Armor of God 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Ephesians 6:10-18 New International Version (NIV)
Just Shae It 